- New desire for deep, meaningful conversation.
- Dread of superficial small talk.
- Lower threshold for b.s.
- Prioritizing self-love
- Realizing 20s are to grind & be selfish.
- Accepting that you are only starting to discover who you are & what you want in life and in your relationships
- Learning that people you’ve called your best friends, may not always be your greatest friends & your greatest friends may not have even started out as friends.
- Becoming increasingly selective about who you invest your time & energy in.
- Reduced need of validation from others.
- Partying all night & paying for it the entire next day not worth it anymore, almost seems like a chore.
- No but really that next day though…
- Your metabolism isn’t quite what it used to be.
- By that I mean absolutely nothing like it used to be.
- Realizing just how little you actually know.
- Acknowledging there is a difference between lust & love.
- Starting to look at relationships in a long-term capacity.
- But also realizing you’re still young enough to walk away if you aren’t being treated well.
- A growing thirst to learn through education/travel/new experiences.
- Newfound humbleness: you, me, & everything we do, will one day be forgotten.
Still feel like you’re getting it all wrong?
Well here are a few of my favorite highlights from Mark Manson’s blog, who talks about lessons he learned from surviving his twenties.
- The world is not a scary place out to get you. This gets said all the time, but it’s basically true. I’ve been to a fair amount of dangerous shit holes both inside and outside the US. And when given the opportunity, the majority of people are kind and helpful.
- You can’t force friends. There are two types of friends in life: the kind that when you go away for a long time and come back, it feels like nothing’s changed, and the kind that when you go away for a long time and come back, it feels like everything’s changed. Some of my more casual acquaintances slowly became the closest friends in my life. It’s not that those other people were bad people or bad friends. It’s nobody fault. It’s just life.
- You’re not supposed to accomplish all of your goals. Spending the first two decades of our life in school conditions us to have an intense results-oriented focus about everything. You set out to do X, Y or Z and either you accomplish them or you don’t. If you do, you’re great. If you don’t, you fail. Sure, it’s nice to always have goals and have something to work towards, but I’ve found that actually attaining all of those goals is beside the point. I’ve grown, I’ve discovered that some of the life goals I set for myself were not things I actually wanted, and setting those goals taught me what was not important to me in my life.
- No one actually knows what the hell they’re doing. There’s a lot of pressure on kids in high school and college to know exactly what they’re doing with their lives. It starts with choosing and getting into a university. Then it becomes choosing a career and landing that first job. Then it becomes having a clear path to climb up that career ladder, getting as close to the top as possible. Then it’s getting married and having kids. If at any point you don’t know what you’re doing or you get distracted or fail a few times, you’re made to feel as if you’re screwing up your entire life and you’re destined for a life of panhandling and drinking vodka on park benches at 8AM. But the truth is, almost nobody has any idea what they’re doing in their 20s, and I’m fairly certain that continues further into adulthood. Everyone is just working off of their current best guess.
- Generally everyone wants the same things.Everyone spends most of their time worrying about food, money, their job and their family — even people who are rich and well fed. Everyone wants to look cool and feel important — even people who are already cool and important. Everyone is proud of where they come from. Everyone has insecurities and anxieties that plague them, regardless of how successful they are. Everybody is afraid of failure and looking stupid. Everyone loves their friends and family yet also gets the most irritated by them.
- The world doesn’t care about you. You, me, and everything we do, will one day be forgotten. It will be as if we never existed, even though we did. Nobody will care. Just like right now, almost nobody cares what you actually say or do with your life. And this is actually really good news: it means you can get away with a lot of stupid shit and people will forget and forgive you for it. It means that there’s absolutely no reason to not be the person that you want to be. The pain of un-inhibiting yourself will be fleeting and the reward will last a lifetime.